17 Barclay Street, Suite A
Newtown, PA 18940
Most adults who struggle with anxiety have been dealing with it since they were teens, some since childhood. The emotional and physical scars of anxiety have impacted their relationships, jobs, health, and ability to enjoy their lives. Not helping teens manage their anxiety sets them up for a lifetime of difficulty. There is so much you can do now to set kids up for success.
By the time anxious teens reach adulthood, they feel defeated. They’ve been anxious, scared, insecure, and sad for so long that it’s hard to believe anything else is possible. It’s also become so familiar, that changing becomes even harder. That means therapy is harder. It also means it takes longer to make significant changes.
As a psychologist, it’s hard to watch amazing people feel so terrible about themselves.
I sometimes want to scream, “don’t you know how amazing you are? Look at everything you’ve accomplished despite feeling desperate, sad, alone, and scared for so many years.”
After working in this field for more than 20 years, I know there’s often no point in saying this. Many of them will never believe me.
They have to manage the anxiety to believe it’s possible…and there’s usually a little part of them that’s just waiting to fall apart again.
As a result of not getting the support and tools they needed as kids and having to grow up anxious, they’ve learned to not trust or like themselves.
Teens experience anxiety. It’s normal to get anxious before high stakes events like sport meets, finals, the SAT, or a big date. Most people get anxious when they don’t know whether something will work out. However, once these events pass, they feel fine.
Anxious teens are constantly suffering. They feel scared and desperate most of the time. They may get some temporary breaks, but the anxiety just gets worse over time.
The challenges of college push their anxiety over an edge and they don’t fully recover. As a result, the challenges of being an adult are harder to handle.
The anxiety may look different now, but it’s still there.
There’s a really hurtful myth out there that letting kids push through anxiety prepares them for the challenges of adulthood. That’s old school and has damaged people for generations.
Yes, pushing through challenges makes you stronger.
However, when you’re terrified, you’re only focused on surviving:
Scared, overwhelmed kids and teens get through being terrified using a combination of these four methods:
Many anxious teens are labeled by parents and teachers as “difficult” or “broken.” They’re not being a pain in the butt on purpose (well, not always).
Their life is really hard. It takes a ton of energy to get through a day.
They put all their energy into holding it together at school or an activity so that people don’t think of them as weird.
When they come home, they have to blow up and let everything out and/or completely withdraw.
They have been aware since they were kids that school, work, and life were harder for them compared to others their age.
As adults, it’s harder for them to balance work, marriage, family, and parenthood.
They run out of steam and get overwhelmed faster.
They don’t trust themselves.
They know they can push through anxiety (they already have lots of practice), but recovering will be hard and take a long time.
They are so used to struggling and being called difficult that they wind up disappointed in who they turned out to be.
They wish they were someone else.
They wonder what their life would have been like if they had gotten tools earlier and had been given the support and understanding they needed when they were growing up.
If there is an anxious child or teen in your life, you have to help them now. This will give them the greatest chance of having a healthy and fulfilling future.
Teens struggling with anxiety have a higher lifetime chance of developing other mental health issues, like depression and substance abuse.
Unfortunately, they are also at a higher risk for suicide. They can reach a point where they don’t want to suffer anymore and don’t believe there is any other way out.
This will help their self-esteem.
This will help them trust you and feel less lonely.
This will teach them it’s okay to ask for help.
Continue to talk with your teen about their feelings.
Don’t settle for, “I’m fine.”
Your teen with anxiety will thank you for caring enough to do something.
Please contact us to set up an appointment.
We can help give you information, a map for next steps, and hope that you can have the life you want.
Wishing you the best,
Dr. Levy
Director
Dr. Ronit Levy is a clinical psychologist and director of Bucks County Anxiety Center in Newtown, PA. She specializes in treating teens and adults struggling with anxiety due to Anxiety Disorders, OCD, chronic illness, and life events. Dr. Levy trains and supervises other therapists and presents on mental health in the community.
About Us
The therapists who practice at Bucks County Anxiety Center work with teens (ages 14 and up) and adults struggling with anxiety and OCD.
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